BY CHARLES SCHULZ
GRANDVILLE, MI—Robert Belle, a 40-year-old man interred at the Marshill Mental Health Institute, temporarily escaped again yesterday, surprising and mystifying Grandville residents as he wandered through town. As is his custom, Belle shuffled alone through various scenes in the city—driveways, coffee shops, the beach, the airport, and even someone’s living room—while eloquating theological sayings in personal conversations to imaginary friends at each location. Belle was described as wearing black plastic-rimmed glasses and clothes more appropriate for someone in their 20s. In addition to his imaginary discourses, witnesses reported that Belle frequently uttered the sound “New-Mah.”
Belle was first found in Jason Wilborn’s living room. Wilborn initially assumed that the TV was on, but was surprised to find Belle standing there instead, gesturing and articulating to the air around him.
“He was saying something about how we think we’re better than everyone and we put up facades to hide that. Nothing real deep, insightful, or profound, though you could tell by his tone of voice and style of speech that he thought he was making a grand point.”
Belle’s next reported appearance was on the shores of Lake Michigan, where witnesses report seeing him wander up and down the beach in another musing conversation.
“He walked slowly and purposefully, stopping every now and then to turn and face an imaginary friend or camera and drive home his point,” said Michael Avery, who was enjoying his day at the beach when Belle showed up. “The weird thing is that he seemed totally unaware of his setting—never made one reference to the beautiful sunny day or nature. Just continued talking and looking intent, as if he was some actor in front of some meaningful backdrop. I think he expects his ‘audience’ to automatically connect his deep theological thoughts to whatever is going on behind.”
According to reports, the subject of Belle’s beach discourse was important things in life and distractions, which he compared to starfish and shells. Witnesses here again noted that Belle tends to speak in a tone of voice that implies more significance and meaning than is actually contained in the content of his ramblings.
This is not the first time Belle has escaped. Last winter, he startled Geena Michaels as she was shoveling snow in her driveway. “One morning, there he was, staring at me from the house across the street. Then ten minutes later, I hear this voice saying something about how Jesus wants us to serve others and how he feels guilty about not helping others. I look up and there he is, standing across my driveway, holding his mail, talking to the air and the snowflakes.” Belle eventually returned to the house, where Michaels observed him continuing his conversation in an empty room facing the street.
Belle’s exploits are familiar to caretakers at Marshill. “That sounds like him. Sometimes he’ll just sit in the corner of the room, looking intently into the distance while sharing his latest musings,” commented one of the nurses.
“The tragedy is he thinks he’s so profound with his ideas on truth, encountering the presence of God and new ways of articulating theology. But it’s nothing new. He’s style over substance.”
The Grandville Police Department advises residents not to panic and assures them that Belle isn’t a threat. Those who find him are told to alert the authorities and continue what they were doing in the first place.
