August 31, 2010

Daniel Forrester: I Make No Apologies For Giving My Son A Hard Time

BY GARY LARSON

BERRIEN SPRINGS—Berrien County prosecutors formally filed charges of Assault of Child, First Degree against Daniel Forrester on Monday, following his arrest last week at his Beechwood apartment.

NADCI Announces Curriculum of Fall Clerical School

BY BILL AMEND

BERRIEN SPRINGS—From its inception in Chicago in the late ‘50s to its multi-site span today, the North American Division Clerical Institute has successfully taught hundreds of potential clergy the church clerical skills necessary to support the presence of a famous evangelist. This year, Clerk School sessions will be held in several locations across the United States, including Indianapolis, Boise, South Bend, and Washington D.C. Dr. Reinhold Cuzzle, director of NADCI recently sat down with The Soy Dog to discuss the curriculum for Clerk School this Fall.

Grandville Residents Mystified by Man Who Wanders Aimlessly Around Town

BY CHARLES SCHULZ

GRANDVILLE, MI—Robert Belle, a 40-year-old man interred at the Marshill Mental Health Institute, temporarily escaped again yesterday, surprising and mystifying Grandville residents as he wandered through town.     As is his custom, Belle shuffled alone through various scenes in the city—driveways, coffee shops, the beach, the airport, and even someone’s living room—while eloquating theological sayings in personal conversations to imaginary friends at each location. Belle was described as wearing black plastic-rimmed glasses and clothes more appropriate for someone in their 20s. In addition to his imaginary discourses, witnesses reported that Belle frequently uttered the sound “New-Mah.”

Arts Connoisseurs, Students Continue to Clash over Installation of Five Dimension 2521s by Modern Artist Dell

BY BILL WATTERSON

BERRIEN SPRINGS—One decade after its installation, the sculpture Five Dimension 2521s, by renowned modern artist Dell, continues to draw controversy within the seminary.