BY JACK WORSLEY
BERRIEN SPRINGS, MI—Despite recent societal trends in the church that make liturgical behaviour more acceptable, and the fact that everyone knows that he is liturgical, Adventist Worship Service has not yet come out.
Suspicions that Adventist Worship Service is liturgical have existed since birth, because of an openly practicing liturgical parent. Early in his childhood, he exhibited liturgical behaviour, for example, having a set order of worship with an opening song, invocation, responsive reading, homily and benediction.
“We always knew that Methodist Worship Service was liturgical so we figured he might end up following his parent. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. We’re not going to judge him but we just want it out in the open. Adventist Worship Service doesn’t have to hide or deny his orientation any longer. We’ll embrace him no matter what,” shared World Council of Churches, a distant and estranged uncle of Adventist Worship Service.
Feeding suspicions, Adventist Worship Service continues to keep his standardised order of events for all worships everywhere he went. Furthermore, he quietly and surreptitiously celebrates events in the liturgical calendar such as Good Friday, Easter Sunday and Christmas. Friends and relatives also speculate whether Adventist Worship Service’s liturgical behaviour was the result of nature or nurture.
“I caught him celebrating the Eucharist although he insisted that he was doing Communion Service instead. Also, I found several books with a set of common prayers hidden behind what he called his ‘hymns’. He’s got Sacraments all over such as baptism but continues to evade all accusations by calling it something else. Enough already! Just like Terrell Owens said, ‘If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat.’”
