BY OLIVIA MUNN
LOMA LINDA—Scientists have discovered troglobite-like Seventh-day Adventists with undeveloped ears across the United States. Thirty years after the General Conference Session in 2010, these Adventists appear to have inner ears which have lost the ability to detect sound waves.
“We observed that the cochlea, the auditory portion of the inner ear which is primarily responsible for hearing, was basically missing in many Adventists. The ear canal seems to have shrunk, further dampening their ability to hear.” said Dr. Martin Burens, an otolaryngologist at Loma Linda University Medical Center.
Burens concluded that the loss of auditory ability was similar to cave-dwelling troglobites which adapt to their surroundings by developing heightened senses to compensate for under-used senses. For Adventists however, it appears the effect has been reversed with audition deadened while their vocal capacities were enhanced.
“It’s been awhile since Adventists used their sense of hearing. They’ve stopped listening so the body physiologically adapts by not developing ears. Meanwhile, they’ve adapted larger mouths and vocal chords due to an almost exclusive preference for talking. This means that biologically at least, Adventists today are more capable of speaking rather than listening. The larger mouths also facilitate louder speech although this doesn’t necessarily mean more intelligent discourse,” continued Burens.
Their inability to hear means that Adventists have stopped engaging in any meaningful dialogue, choosing to talk over each other instead. Meanwhile, Adventists with regular ears complained of inner ear trauma from years over-exposure to the loud noises of fellow church members.
“This came about from years of neglecting their sense of hearing although it doesn’t mean that Adventists have lost all auditory ability forever. If they simply listen once more and speak less, we’re certain the next generation will be able to recover their hearing.”
