BY JEAN-CLAUDE DUMIEVE
BERRIEN SPRINGS—Church members have increasingly begun turning to medical prescriptions for spiritual nourishment. In what is rapidly becoming a trend among the worldwide church, members are reading these doctors’ prescriptions in an effort to get objective instructions for their daily life. Church members wearied by the apparent long-windedness of literature now seek these prescriptions for spiritual instruction due to its straightforward nature.
“Reading a doctor’s prescription makes life easier because doctors tell them the basics. Members want that kind of basic instruction for all spiritual matters too. By reading their drug prescriptions, they’re told what to do and the exact guidelines of how they need to live,” commented Francois Louceran, an Old Testament scholar at Andrews University.
According to Louceran, reading these medical prescriptions requires all the subtlety and nuance of a baseball bat which makes it an attractive proposition for the average person. Members have the extra comfort knowing that these prescriptions come from a respected, reliable and inspired authority figure and therefore, are assured that all instructions don’t have to be questioned or challenged.
“When you read a prescription, there’s no need for independent thought. You don’t have to be creative when you read, all the information is there and you follow the doctor’s exact instructions. There’s no questioning or reading between the lines. You go to the pharmacy, get the medicine and follow the directions. The doctor and pharmacist does all the thinking for you. All it takes is the intelligence of a five year old,” continued Louceran.
Other documents such as poetry, historical narrative and apocalyptic literature are fast becoming obsolete with members preferring to read prescriptions. Reading and interpreting these other genres is an art in itself and requires critical thinking skills and an aesthetic appreciation which has become less important in an age of instant gratification.
“Members are more concerned about, ‘what must I do to be saved?’ So when you ask that question, everything else becomes less important. When living becomes only a matter of life and death, then survival is your primary concern so a prescription becomes much more meaningful to you. But for those of you who actually want to live, then I suggest poetry, wisdom literature and stories. I guarantee you’ll have a much richer existence,” said a noticeably frustrated Louceran.
As a result of the laity’s preference for medical prescriptions, pastors too lazy for in-depth study have turned to preaching from them as well. Meanwhile, others who preach from other genres have been deemed “boring”, “old-fashioned” and “unbiblical”.
An added benefit of medical prescriptions is reading comes in light and easily digestible doses. Readers can cross-check their prescription, adopting the “a little here, a little there” principle, proof-texting to ensure each prescription doesn’t contradict the other. The clear-cut aspect doesn’t allow for much debate as everything has been clearly spelled out.
“I hope people eventually mature and realize that there’s more to literature than medical prescriptions. Initially, I suppose some people need to be told what to do, just like children. But remember, children grow up. And then, what? I don’t think anyone can live meaningfully by reading medical prescriptions forever.”
