BY CHERYL EXUM
BERRIEN SPRINGS-A recent study of soccer player behavior at Andrews University during intramurals showed a direct correlation between replica jerseys and prima donna tendencies. The jerseys however had no effect on improving ability, sportsmanship and skill.
“We did a month long study of the intramural soccer season at Andrews University. We observed two sides who wore the jerseys of notable club and national teams. There were several examples of their uncanny ability to imitate spoiled athletes. Some would throw hissy fits like Cristiano Ronaldo when the ball wasn’t passed to them despite their obvious inability to play like him,” said Carlos Ruiz, a sports researcher from Spain.
“Others would spend the whole game complaining to the referees about perceived bad calls in like fashion as professional players," added Ruiz. "The team wearing the Barcelona kit in particular went into every game with the same sense of entitlement as real Barcelona players and was deluded into thinking that they played at the same level as the reigning Spanish champions.”
Despite these traits, players were sadly unable to raise their level of play to those of the actual teams wearing these uniforms. Wingers couldn’t dribble, midfielders showed a glaring inability to keep possession and strikers missed chances that professionals would have gladly pounced on. Much like professional divas, these players were also able to feign injury, made cynical tackles and were often sore losers.
Ruiz continued, “With the teams wearing the Brazilian and Barcelona jerseys, we were hoping for a Messi, Xavi or Kaka to emerge but we left sadly disappointed. Many of them thought they were these players although many showed less grace and dignity than these famous players display on the pitch. If you want to catch a good game with great players, I suggest that you stick to your TV instead.”
